• Mikael first told us about how his dad gave him the sex talk while eating at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant.  The story involved a condom, a breadstick, and Gwen Stefani.  I don’t think I could do it justice.
• We were going to leave it at that, but by popular demand, he went on to talk about how Mormonism is a fundamentalist cult. He talked about the secret endowment ceremony, which involves a poncho and a full body anointment by some old priest. Apparently, this ceremony is so secret that Mormons must swear to stop anyone who attempts to reveal it. It also used to be required that they swear to commit suicide should they reveal any secrets, but the FBI ordered that they end the suicide oath. But there are still wandering Mormon assassins who kill apostates.
  
• After the endowment ceremony, you get to learn one of the secret handshakes and wear the famous magic undergarments. If you take off the underwear for more than five minutes, God will not be able to protect you when Satan himself strikes you down. Mikael said it’s like a full-body yamaka (which is that skull-cap worn by Jews).

• Mikael’s grandfather, Richard Miller, is known for being the first FBI member to be indicted of espionage. He even has his own Wikipedia article, so you know he’s notable.

• Mormonism has a complicated mythology (which has inspired some elements of Battlestar Galactica). When you die, there are three levels of heaven you might go to. The top third of the highest level is reserved for Mormons, who are the only ones who get to keep their genitals. Also, God lives on a planet called Kolob which is 4000 miles from the sun. Also, God is Adam, not Jesus.

• Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism, had 28 wives. Someone noted that polygamy was in a way pragmatic because of the large gender imbalance in the pioneering days.

• Mikael told us how he underwent “treatment” for homosexuality. It was a Pavlovian setup involving electric shocks and both gay and straight porn.

• We heard about some other things that Mormons like to keep quiet, like the Mountain Meadows Massacre and the Kinderhook Plates.

• Mikael also showed us how he had been trained to rebut people like himself. See, he talked to God himself, so he knows.

Mikael is the chairman of ANCR. He had found BASS through our Ask An Atheist table.